My heart is broken

I am so sad in love relationship because I just broke up with my lover. I can't stand this and I don't want to live any more. Although I know that we will not have the happy ending and even our start is totally wrong, I still want it's body and love for killing time and more exciting. I am such a bad man who eat his own bad fruit as I did. I hate this world and I don't want to live in this terrible world anymore.